«Despair is a claustrophobic feeling. It’s the emotion that says,
«Nothing will ever change.» It’s different than anger or sadness or grief.
Despair is twinged with hopelessness.
People who subscribe to power-over leadership often weaponize
despair. They count on people giving up on themselves, their work,
and each other. I get it. I’m looking at people I know with suspicion. I’m
questioning the value of my work. I’m wondering if courage, kindness,
and caring for each other simply don’t matter anymore. I’m desperate
for someone to blame because blame is an effective way to discharge
pain and it gives us a sense of counterfeit control.
The research shows that hope is a powerful antidote to despair. What’s
interesting, however, is that hope is not an emotion (C. R. Snyder). Hope
is a cognitive-behavioral process. It’s about having a goal, a pathway to
achieve that goal, and a sense of agency or «I can do this.»
Right now, the thing that is helping the most is micro-dosing hope.
I have no access to big hope right now, however, I am asking myself
how I can support the people around me. The people on my team, in my
community. How can I make sure that, in the maelstrom of my emotions,
I stay committed to courage, kindness, and caring for others regardless
of the choices made by others? Doing the smallest next right thing is
hard AF, but sometimes it’s all we’ve got.»
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